When i go sequential nights with little or no sleep, I am a basket case.
as my mother just witnessed on the phone.

Sea of Love

my friend and i frequently venture to this surreal, lovely, inspiring place.

we lose track of time, and lay in the sun. 

we climb around barefoot

both equipped with cameras.

i way like it here

i am probably like, the worst procrastinator in thee worrrld.
maybe not the absolute 100% worst
but close, contesting for the position.

while driving home from work today, i contemplated
am i my body
the general accepted thought includes a soul and a body, but a general accepted theory also includes no afterlife. contrary?
why do i feel that this body, the only proof of my life, this body that i experience everything through, is not actually, me.

also recently, driving home from work
i observed a wonderful human being driving a scooter in front of me.
shirt and tie attire, waving at everyone as if he were in a parade.
and then, he put on head phones.
picture a man doing a dance similar to this
while sitting on a scooter, driving down the road.
ahaha. i took a photo on my cell phone. but i don't know how to get in on here.

I miss everything that has been and will be
can't seem to grasp reality.
my mood nearly always reflects the weather
this desert is an awfully rainy one.
it's depressing, spending a holiday without the family,
knowing i'm the only one absent.
it's hard without my darling, dear friends, the real ones.
i do like the roses outside my window though, the long pink curtains, rain drops and wind, and the rays of sunshine spilling in from the west.

ohh left my car windows down. cuss. 

i'm curious concerning everyones opinion on automatic starting playlists vs. having to go turn it on, or no playlist at all. sometimes it's obnoxious when somebody's playlist bombards your silence or your already playing music.. and other times it is the most pleasant of surprises. i like playlists, that i'm sure of. blogging is the sharing of everything that's good, interesting, sincere, genuine, raw, inspiring
music counts, of course.
but um.
opinions?

normally, i would have slept a large portion of the last 13.5 hours,

i didn't sleep

I went to open mic night at bean scene

then a nice boy and I listened to music, made music, did yoga, and watched a lightening storm

 after, I came home and finished up a lengthy paper on my stay at Krishna's Lotus Temple

Then when seeing the beginnings of the sunrise come through my curtains I decided to go out and photograph it

and since i was already out i stopped by rachels (delicious).

 Now though, i have to face school and work, sleep deprived.

but, i have the Most Wonderful job,

my manager called me yesterday to check when I'd like to schedule a massage at a spa and if i'd like to dine out with her, and two other associates, company covered.

um, yes?

 goodness sakes yes. 

i quite like my life

people- pack each day with

what you love.

the size of my vocabulary significantly decreases when i am nervous.

this boy has class, truly

4.26.11-
his advice concerning not-gentlemen
"Write 'get a brain' backwards on the inside of your hand and slap them in the face for me."

i want to lessen the gap between what i think i should be doing and what i am doing,
at all times and in all aspects.

i hold the pen. i write the story.
i'm not pleased with what i've been writing.

i want to be good, i want to be lovely.

considering how influential those you spend your days with are,

i need to spend my days with happy, inspiring people-
that's what will lead to better chapters.

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.  

- Samuel Johnson

 

 

when I'm laying awake in my bed at night

 

i entertain myself by taking out of focus pictures of cars driving by my window.

Holi. Festival of Colors. 2011

"caste, color, race, sex, or social status; all these petty differences are temporarily relegated to the background and people give into an unalloyed colorful rebellion." -Subhamoy Das

last year i stayed outside amidst the crowds at the festival, I had fun. Delighted in the new, unusual experience. got colored, crowd surfed, chanted.

This year I went inside. I heard music seeping down from upstairs so I took my shoes off, and climbed up to the lotus adorned temple room.  The kirtan band consisted of a man and his daughter (that I met when I stayed at the temple for a retreat) and a few other men. They had kartals, a harmonium, drums, and a guitar. Sanskrit Mantras were repeated, harmoniously swelling and building off each other. raw, soulful, and overwhelming. I would sit rocking back and forth the sound filling me and all around me, taking over. We'd dance and dance, almost a child like dance, no tinge of provocativeness, none of what the world has begun to constrict dancing to. the marble floor had my bare feet aching by the time we stopped. I'd sing and chant until my voice had nothing left in it. I felt unbelievably happy there, and part of something good.  At one point the band came out on the floor and joined in the dancing. Someone held the microphone to my mouth and I led the chant :) The crowd inside was large enough to make it wild, but small enough to make it intimate. the guitar playing was intricate and beautiful, voices harmonizing, harmonica weaving, it all left me in awe. Live music is incomparable to speakers playing a recording, you can physically feel it. The atmosphere it creates moves you differently. I wondered the meaning of the words I chanted so I did some research.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama

Rama Rama Hare Hare 

is the mantra you'll commonly hear at the festival

 and it means

"O lord, take away all my sorrows, pains and shortcomings and give me bliss and joy"

 
we all come from different backgrounds, and for one day
we have the same coloring

move and dance together

and repeat the same universal prayer.
i like that 

 also, read this article

i liked this line from it-

"this festival is about nothing other than enhancing your relationship with God and enhancing your relationship with other human beings"