"He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."
-The Alchemist

I hope for that to never be my pit fall, to never see my dreams realized, to never consider the possibility. I will put in my best effort to not settle, but to do what is I want to do.

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting"
-(also) The Alchemist

that book is teaching me.

books are neat like that.

rebellion is innovative.

i want to experience something so magnificent it shakes the existence of fear from me.

"You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." 

-The Picture of Dorian Gray

“The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge."

-Elbert Hubbard

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.” 

-Confucius

“Fear always springs from ignorance” 

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day by day I am more aware of, and absolutely overwhelmed by, the immense room there is for personal betterment.

fixation

 

choice song

momentarily crossing paths felt nice
I'm better for it
but for how momentary it was i shouldn't feel this magnitude of sinking in my chest.
 i'm out

bye #9

Dear Future Husband,

I bought you a tie. 

love,

sarah

I woke up with the strongest urge to learn another language.
i will learn another language.
but which one?

This valentines day has been incredibly good. I set my expectation real low because I assumed last years was so lovely it couldn't be trumped. I have been flabbergasted. Last years Valentines Day was exceptional due to a thoughtful boyfriend. This years is exceptional due to a thoughtful public.
-A nice boy bought me flowers and a smoothie.
-I discovered a letter tucked in my windshield wiper.
In the envelope a small note said-
Sarah
Thank you for your great smile! I hope you have a great day!
with a

$20 and a $5

thank you anonymous giver. I sincerely appreciate your thoughtfulness.    

-A health food store in the area called my father (their dedicated shopper and advocate up at the provo store) and said Oh hello doesn't your daughter that's going to school down here need a job? My talk with them went a little better than smooth and my hopes are high.

-I had planned a date with a good book and felt completely content with the idea but then 3 gentlemen asked me out within a few minutes. it was shocking and overwhelming. No plans then too many plans, but joe asked first and I had a wonderful night with him. Sushi was involved. 
I can remember when in my mind, not too long ago really, my outlook was so grim. My perception was gray and life felt weighted. Thinking everything would be okay felt implausible and cliche. Everything was okay. Today I'm more aware of that. I can recall feeling that way and I can recall feeling this way and it is a comforting realization that undoubtedly i will feel both ways again. I don't fear experiencing heart break because my heart will be filled with gratitude again and again. Gratitude for small things like sunshine and Elvis Presley and gratitude for enormous things like the support and love of my family; gratitude for all the opportunity I have. Gratitude for the people who choose to share their time and selves with me.
I am happy. i'm grateful. i'm content.
 thank you, everyone that has come together and helped me. It took the potency of blessings today to show my sometimes oblivious mind how truly good my life is.
"When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."
-The Alchemist  (the book i had scheduled a date with) 

i am content.

I way enjoy the company of my new friend. I suppose new friend isn't an adequate description anymore. To quote Anne (from Anne of Green Gables) Kara and I are 

kindred spirits.

a thoughtful existence

yesterday morning my existence was simple, deliberate, thoughtful, and entirely for my enjoyment.
I woke up slowly, falling in and out of good dreams until my eyes preferred being open to closed. I felt the warmth of the sunshine coming through the curtains on my cheek. I laid until laying was no longer desirable. I stretched. I sipped tea.
 I found this tea cup at a beloved antique store. i sift through all the stuff in that place for hours.

Everything about yesterday morning was so aesthetically pleasing, I had to take a picture.

  “Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes - every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.” 

Orison Swett Marden

 

 take time to wonder and delight in the insignificant marvels that somehow add significance to seemingly insignificant mornings.

such as sipping sweet warmth from a pretty old tea cup.

i'm growing wings.

standing on the brink of change contemplating the jump.
i won't lie to myself, the jump is inevitable.
my perspective has been altered to the point that faults are impossible to ignore.
so wish me luck.
no, wish me more than luck.
wish me courage
wish me faith
wish me humility and optimism.
i want finding god to be a joyous discovery.