ten days before today

i wrote this post.

i have so much.
people say that a lot it seems.
the mormon version is "i'm so blessed"
but all the same, i am.
i have so much.
my family is wonderful.
i can hear them in the kitchen right now.
they're laughing, singing, movie quoting, talking, eating.. being Crowleys.
this last weekend i was at the Phillips family reunion.

i don't think little sibyl and big bill had any idea what they were beginning when they fell in love.
i don't think they even imagined how connected and full of love their posterity could be so many years later, during one testimony meeting on one Sunday afternoon in July.
they created something beautiful that lasted.
it lasted after they both passed of old age, after almost 61 years of marriage, after bearing 10 children and witnessing 3 of them die. after becoming grandparents and great grandparents. I don't know if they saw the immeasurable potential of their wedding vows on July 17, 1941. They knew a life together was in store, but i'm not sure they could have seen that one Sunday afternoon in July, 2010 coming. everyone full of love and testifying to the most important thing of all, family.
i'm not sure any of us really realize the impact we will have on this world, and i think the most significant sometimes happens when two people fall in love.

Saturday night (at the reunion) i was lying in a tent curled up in a ball, trying to pull myself together.
i was letting things get me down.
i heard guitar playing and a soft voice singing somewhere in all the noise of conversation outside.
 and i went and found it.
my uncle roger was singing old 60's love songs with his wife merri anne.
i listened for a while and decided i want to marry a guy like that.
a guy that sings me sweet songs while we're camping with our family late at night.

my friend Tiana is getting married tomorrow :) best wishes Tiana.
i love you and am so so excited for you.